the start of a redesign...

ok...after chatting with everyone and deciding that my current site is a bit to "apologetic" and a bit washed out I've decided to do a major redesign.

Attached is my inital mock up.

I'm looking for ideas on improving it, what you like, what you don't like...

is the copy hitting the right spot?

Fire away! As always be honest not nice!!!

Mike

Attached Images

design.jpg (182.0 KB, 42 views)

And without any feedback I've decided to alter the colour scheme...

I think i prefer this RGb look...what dya reckon?

Attached Images

design2.jpg (186.0 KB, 34 views)

Love it! It's bold, it's direct, and it has eye-catching graphics without being "fussy" or over-designed. The same goes for the language. Well done!

I like the red version better. The green, blue, and red together make me feel a little queasy. But that could just be me being peculiar.

Watch out for run-on sentences, which are spliced together by inadequate commas. This is a gross error, but extremely common. Like medieval surgeons whose casual stitches come undone, most of your competitors fecklessly sprinkle their prose with inadequate commas. Splice-and-dice butchers! Show your class by excising inadequate commas from your writing.

Here's what I'm on about:
The comma is inadequate. Either replace it with a semicolon ( ; ) or add a preposition -- a joining word: "...download my CV, or if you are.."

That whole sentence is long and rather tortuous. It's hard to follow. I question whether you need another "please contact me" sentence. How about:

Overall, however, I love the friendly-but-concise style of your writing. Here's another suggestion:
This could be recast slightly to fit your to-the-point, approachable style. For example:

We know that it's a web project (you're not selling anything else, are you? Finest silverware sporks?), and we know it's you, not anyone else, whom they will contact (you've even given them one "me" at the start of the sentence). If you want to elaborate, elaborate in a useful way: perhaps you could remind them that you'd be delighted just to discuss their ideas, without need for commitment.

excellent review Mike thanks. I will iron out those fine points you mention and tighten up the copy until it can barely breathe! haha.

Out of interest do you prefer the RGB colours or the orange?

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that's snoring if you can't tell!



I'm not keen on it at all. The font for your business name is odd, I don't care for the name on the black background, I don't like the circles and lines in the logo... and I really don't like the thick stripes above and below the nav.

Below the header I'm ok with everything.
I want to be wowed!! This doesn't do it! In my HUMBLE opinion.....

Now with that said, I've been struggling with my own site redesign since July! So you've gotten a lot further than me.

Definitely prefer the first one, the orange. The combination of red, green, and blue is more interesting, but it feels wrong to me.

But that's a totally subjective reaction.

The first one is much better than the second one although i dont think this is your best piece of work. Not after seeing your two blog designs - they were excellent.

I agree with Lchad and Marc here ... I don't like them at all.

I've seen your blog and I think your could do MUCH better with your portfolio.

back to the drawing board then!

thanks for being honest everyone!

:artist:

I have to agree with Marc..while I like the first one, you have the skill to do much better. Remember you are selling you....sort of like 'Hey, world, look at ME!"