Whats the funniest thing a client said to you?

Voodoochilli · Jul 23rd, 2007, 14:21

I had one that asked if I could make a website that could be viewed "anywhere in the world". Thought that was quite funny as really, isnt that the point of the internet?

Also had and old collegue tell me one of my sites had "too much spam on it". I think he meant adverts, but there wasnt any.

Also, I had a client tell me my site needed to be compatible with Excel...not sure what he meant there.

Oh yeah, I had a close friend (who is also a client) tell me his text needed to been "indented". After about 2 weeks of apparently not being able to do something simple like indenting a bit of text, I find out he really meant that the text should be justified.

Cant think of any more right now, but there are more I am sure.

simonb · Jul 28th, 2007, 10:22

ok do it your way. After there way sucked.

matelot · Jul 28th, 2007, 10:53

This was a networking issue.

Idiot: I've got a serious error message on my screen.
Me: What does it say?
Idiot: Dunno. I shut it down and I'm ringing from the bar on my mobile.

Nothing changes, does it!

Voodoochilli · Jul 28th, 2007, 11:21

Dewetha · Nov 17th, 2007, 16:26

I've had:

Client: "I get this error when I check my mail. It says, 'There are no new messages.'"

lols.

Regards,

Dewetha

sannbe · Nov 17th, 2007, 19:42

I never thought this would happen but it did. As you know, I design telcom networks and I have one of my longest customer call be frantically a few days ago.
Customer: "I'm on my cell. The phones in the new office aren't working!"
Me: "Do you have the list of things to do on the first day of use?"
Customer: "Uh, ya...but they aren't working!"
Me: Are you looking at the list now?" (I had my copy in front of me.)
Customer: "No, it's in my briefcase."
Thoughts of a beating of customer entered my head.
Me: "Would you please get it?"
He did.
Me: What is the first think on the list?"
Customer: 'Plu...oh, sh*t, plug in the phone controller in the equipment room..... Nice talking to you. Later."
Click and he was gone. You can understand why I spent the rest of the day at the new office making sure everything worked perfectly.

alexgeek · Nov 17th, 2007, 20:05

Ahaha!

Stuart · Nov 26th, 2007, 02:02

:rofl: Funny stuff!
I had an experience once while on the phone with a friend of mine who was also my father's client:

Client/Friend: "You know, I recently got a new computer!"
Me: "Neat! What kind?"
C: "Don't know, haven't turned it on yet..."
M: "You don't know what you bought? That's a bit odd!"
C: "I didn't buy it... It was given to me"
M: "By who?"
C: "Some distant family..."
M: "Oh, ok. But why haven't you turned it on yet?"
C: "Couldn't find the switch!"
M: "It should be obvious."
C: "No, can't see it!"
M: "Is it a laptop or a desktop?"
C: "Laptop"
M: "OK, so open it up and look for a button. It's most likely above the keyboard..."
C: "Open it up? How?"
M: "Didn't you say it was a laptop?"
C: "Well yeah, but... how do you open it, there's no little lever to release the screen from the body!"
M: "That's odd, try turning it over..." (I was joking, but my friend took it seriously)
C: "Oh, woops! Found it. And there's the keyboard and the power switch, too!"
M: "Wait, you actually turned it over?!?"
C: "Yeah, and it worked!"
M: "OK then..."
C: "Alright, it's turning on... Says here it's a 'Windows'..."
M: "So you have a windows laptop. Great!"
C: "Huh? It's asking me for a password!"
M: "Shouldn't do that, it's new isn't it?"
C: "Nope, used to belong to my cousin..."
M: "So ask your cousin for the password!"
C: "Can't... My cousin's in Japan! Doesn't speak English and I don't know Chinese!"

That guy wasn't very bright! 'Idiot' is a good word...

Sorry! Tried to remember it the best I could, but left out a few things that I couldn't quite get together...

Nortus · Nov 26th, 2007, 07:23

Client : There seems to be a problem. I cant find my site online.
Me : One mo while I have a look (Types in address). Its there, did you type the correct addres?
Client : I think so. I went into Google and typed 'my website'

Marc · Nov 26th, 2007, 20:34

LOL They're both great!

It's amazing how damn right stupid some people are.

simonb · Nov 26th, 2007, 20:58

Client- I am not looking to spend more than £10 on this whole site

alexgeek · Nov 26th, 2007, 21:14

- I'll pay you a fiver to hack hotmail for me
*block*

simonb · Nov 26th, 2007, 21:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexgeek

*block*

what

Client-cpanel has blocked me for login too many times
me- what did you login with
Clients - Username and password
Me - sorry what was your username and password
Clients- don't you get me Username- username Password-password
you told me my account name was username

alexgeek · Nov 26th, 2007, 21:30

I blocked him Simon (on MSN).

simonb · Nov 27th, 2007, 06:00

Monie · Nov 27th, 2007, 06:14

my ex-boss had a dell laptop. while cleaning the keyboard, he accidentally pressed the F11 key which is the key for IE Fullscreen. He called me and ask to check the problem. At first I pretend I don't know coz I am very busy with my work!!!!

I ask him what did you do (you stupid idiot..!!!)?
he said nothing! I just press the F11 key, and he was very happy and he took out his little note book to write it down whatever he has learned from me..

he write something like this:

"when internet is full screen, press F11.." and he ended the word with a big tick symbol!

Marc · Nov 28th, 2007, 16:54

lol... Cool!

That works for FF aswell - i never new that! Thanks Monie!

alexgeek · Nov 28th, 2007, 16:59

I use shortcuts like that frequently, hardly ever use the mouse ha.