A serious issue on chain-mail surveys

Okay so this is my very first Blog entry on Webforumz. It has very little to do with web design but everything to do with nothing to do with web design.

I'm not sure about the rest of you but I seem to constantly be getting spam-chain emails and myspace messages from friends and co-workers with these surveys that are so intrusive, irrelevant and time-leeching that I delete them immediately.

This was until a few months ago when I decided to start answering them, but answering them in an way that points holes in grammar, misinterprets the English Language's love of homonyms and basically makes me appear completely insane.



Ever spin around in circles until you got so dizzy you fell?

I actually live in a perpetual state of dizziness. In order for me not to fall over I need to spin all the time.. This comes in handy when going through revolving doors and when I accidentally stray into the middle of ice skating competitions. It can be a nuisance on the beach though because if I don’t keep moving forward I drill myself into the sand.

What's the most comfortable thing you own?:

My skin. OMG I bet you weren’t expecting such a risqué answer.. but well, I’m a maverick.

How long does it take for you to take a shower?:

When I was a troubled youth, I could take a shower in less than sixty seconds. These days though I rarely take them because they don’t have much street value anymore. There’s more money in taking basins.

Have you ever stolen a sign from a street?:

No, but one time I added a sign in my street. I put a stop sign next to my driveway and it was just convenient that I had a lemonade stand set up that day too.

What was the last thing you were thinking about?:

Setting up the lemonade stand again tomorrow, that means I get to help lemons; I like being helpful

Is the moon out right now?:

*** Looks around. No plumbers in sight. Feels a cold breeze in an odd area, blushes, adjusts trousers and tightens belt ***
Not anymore..

What's the heaviest thing you own, besides a car?:

My cat! It’s 47 years old and I’ve brought it up on Lion food. It’s not easy to find antelope in Australia so I pay a fortune in freight.

Who was the last person to kiss you?:

My cat. His name is fluffy.. I think he was trying to eat my head.
*** Leaves blog entry unattended while shopping on www.antelopes.com Exclaims “Oh, buy two bison and get a free antelope six-pack? ! Nice” ***




Have you ever wished upon a star for a certain someone?:

I didn’t know you could do this on behalf of someone... Wow! That means I can pay someone to watch the stars for me and make all sorts of wishes..
*** Rakuli pictures all the treats his wishes will bring... daydreams about a lifesize peanut M&M doll ***

Warm up near a fire or cuddle under the stars?:

Well I have just out-sourced the star gazing so I guess I’ll just put my feet up by the fire thanks.

Most romantic: flowers or chocolate?:

I would take the flowers I think. I still carry the battle scars from the last time I didn’t share with fluffy-- he eats all the chocolates before I get a chance but is scared of flowers

If single... are you lookin around?:

I would think that if I was single I would be trying to stay in shape so I didn’t look around.. Gimme more chance to find someone

If taken... are you happy?:

I would most certainly not be happy if I was taken... Unless I was taken somewhere to get a prize.. Yay prizes!

Do you like being around a large group of friends, or two best friends?:

TWO FRIENDS?? Wow that’s heaps!

What's one of your weird quirks that nobody really understands?:

My complete hatred and aversion to the earlobe... not a very useful appendage that.. Flappin’ around trying to pretend it’s a functional part of the body..ppfft!

Ever thought about why grass is green?:

Strangely yes. I decided that the grass used to be blue but it had a falling out with the sky and ocean so it didn’t want to be part of their group anymore.

Can you build a detailed sand castle?:

This would require standing in the one spot on the sand for an extended period of time. I would have drilled halfway to the core of the earth before it was finished.

Ever bit someone else's tongue?:

No, but sometimes I would like to. I mean, I bite my tongue when I get angry so It would be good to bite some else’s when they were scolding me for talking nonsense.

Is your bed comfortable?:

I can’t remember. When a normal cat tries to sleep on your head it’s bad enough. When fluffy tries this? Nup, I take the couch...

What's the most awkward thing that happened to you in public this month?:

When I somehow got it into my head that one of my feet was longer than the other and sub-consciously started walking away from someone only to find I was doing loops and wearing a circle into the carpet... That was a hilarious misunderstanding if I ever heard one.



If you actually liked that you can see some others I have done on myspace and my website which is specifically for getting things off your mind (funny or revolutionary)..

Til next time coders and designers,

Raulie