Vanilla Forums are the best I've seen. As for the designing websites, crew said it bluntly, but I concur. The best way to design websites is from scratch using a text editor. While crew suggested Notepad, this is a terrible idea. There are several programs out there that feature code completion and coloring to aid in keeping an organized XHTML document.

As for CSS, you need to understand a little bit about what is considered modern design and what isn't. You'll see tables around a lot in designs, but tables were meant for tabular data, not for designing websites. CSS allows you to do much more than tables can, but it's a little bit more difficult grasp.

http://w3schools.com/xhtml/
http://w3schools.com/css/
http://csszengarden.com/
http://css.maxdesign.com.au/