Personally I check if the server is running by opening an ASP page (through localhost of course).

I decided to verify if I could see if the server was running, the way you were told and I believe you can but you have to go to the part that says "default websites" under "local computer>websites" and when you click on "default websites" it says running. If/when you go to that part and it is not running you can press the PLAY triangle at the top to start it (I think). Same goes for the email server.
**I start, stop and verify the status of the server through the "services" tool also located in the administrative tools.**

I like using FF and if you try to connect to your localhost with it, it asks for a password; if it does this then you know it is working.
I don't know what password it wants or why it asks for it (tried to do some research but didn't find anything concrete) only when you use FF but it doesn't matter because you can still use your scripts perfectly fine. Just place a simple ASP script in the wwwroot folder and try to access it (localhost/simplescript.asp). If you did everything correctly you should be able to see it. If not then what error does it give you?

I am going look into; how to send emails through IIS and get back to you, possible tomorrow. I am using IIS 5.0 with xp pro although I don't think it should make much of a difference if you are using a different version.